The Greatest Day Ever

by

Nick

For some people, success comes in the form of a promotion.

For others, the birth of a child.

For Ranger Up, however, it has come from the fact that the greatest actor of our time sent us a picture from the set of the upcoming film War Wolves where he is wearing one of our shirts:

Yes, I am talking about actor Martin Kove – or as you know him -SENSEI JOHN MF KREESE from The Karate Kid.

Some of you out there might try to pretend that you haven’t seen, or don’t like the Karate Kid. But show me a guy out there who when he stumbles upon the final fight montage, doesn’t sit down and watch it and I’ll show you a communist.

Which reminds me – so there we were…

Me on the far right. We decided that in honor of Pat Morita’s death we would go out as the entire skeletons scene from the movie Karate Kid. These are hand-made exact replicas – there are no points for second place. I was Dutch. If you don’t know which one Dutch is – go watch the f*cking movie.

Anyway, we go out to beautiful Chapel Hill, NC – a phenomenal college town with no shortage of beautiful women and free-flowing alcohol…but I digress.

We are invited to a costume party by some college students and are pretty convinced we have the best costumes ever. However, only minutes after we enter the bar, we are alerted that there is, in fact, another “shower” that is entering into our turf.

Unlike our shower, this shower did not come with his own skeleton army. And this is why, he was very shocked when he walked into the bar and was assaulted by Bobby and Dutch in full skeleton regalia.

At this point it is probably important to note that prior to going out, we drank our own weight in red bull and vodka while listening to Joe Esposito’s song, You’re the Best Around, so we thought this was hilarious. 

Anyway, we had practiced the whole scene a thousand times and we had the words down perfectly. “Johnny” was the most impressive so much so that when he finished his “couldn’t leave well enough alone speech” the shower braced himself for the impact of the hit that was coming his way.

Of course, this was short-sighted on his part, as Miagi stepped in and saved him.

After convincing him not to press charges by plying him with alcohol, we began to have a great time at the party. Throughout the night, people kept mentioning how cool our costumes were and that it was wild that we had memorized the whole thing. Somewhere along the lines, the party “MC” decided we needed to recreate the scene again for the whole party to see.

Since we are all assclowns and attention whores, this was easy to do, and in seconds we had the crew together.

There was one minor problem.

Johnny was three sheets to the wind.

Our boy truly thought he was Billy Zabka. Things were about to go poorly.

When the scene hit it’s climax, I, in the role of Dutch, was tasked with holding our beshowered Danielson up so Johnny could hit him. The hit, of course, was going to be fake. Except for the fact that I felt it through Danielson when he got drilled into me so hard that I almost fell backwards after Johnny delivered his devastating attack.

Classic WTF moment.

I will fast forward.

Danielson held his shit together and didn’t puke, and we got a lot of cheers at the end. When “Johnny” was asked why in the hell he actually hit our friend, he said, and I quote:

“Dude, it had to be realistic.”

Of course it did, Johnny. Of course it did.

Sweep the leg, brothers.

Copyright of Nick