Meet Kenny Jackson
Kenny Jackson is not related to either Kenny Florian or Michael Jackson. Not even remotely. But he’s got the jits and the dance moves to put both to shame. He can slap on a rear naked choke and then celebrate with a combination Billie Jean, “eeee-heee,” spin around, crotch grab move. That’s one reason we like him.
The other reason is his job. Now a full-time National Guardsman, Kenny has the unenviable task of being the funeral coordinator for Northeast Georgia. If a serviceman from his state loses his life overseas, Kenny’s the man to make sure he gets his last respects. It takes a careful mix of stoic courage and well-placed compassion to continually look into the eyes of grieving family members while you bury their loved one. Ever see Gardens of Stone? If not, get thee to a Blockbuster!
Kenny’s father was MIA for most of his life and his mother is certified looney tunes. She kicked him out of the house at 13 years-old and forced him to fend for himself. Instead of becoming a burden on society he got his shit together, though it took a seriously intimidating foster parent to properly motivate him. We like to think that background pre-destined him to be a LRS – operating long distances from any support. Here’s our Rangerfied list of reasons we decided to sponsor him:
-Kenny is certified in the lost art of Hagana – an Israeli tactical knife fighting, shooting, and humus making art form.
-During an 18-month deployment in Iraq, Kenny’s buddies procured some Iraqi whiskey and proceeded to tattoo their asses with everything from a USDA Prime Beef logo to “Slippery When Wet.” Kenny refrained from getting one. That’s sound judgment.
-In one of his fights, Kenny beat up a guy from Micah Goss’s gym. He felt so bad about it, he moved to Georgia and started training with him…when he’s not looking for a soul to steal.
-Kenny’s only loss was controversial. A fan tossing an octopus onto an ice hockey ring is okay, but chucking one into an MMA cage is grounds for disqualification. Who knew?
-Kenny is no longer welcome to fight in the state of Georgia because he broke an opponent’s arm. Apparently no one told the peach state that this is a combat sport.
-Kenny’s wife is convinced he loves his dog more than her. He gets props for picking a woman who’s both perceptive and tolerant.
-On his high school aptitude tests, he listed “kicking haji in the face and putting two in his head” as a career ambition.
-Kenny firmly believes in the philosophy that crazy people may be scary, but they also keep you safe. Can you say, “I’m bad! I’m bad! Shump boy!”
-Kenny suffers from PTSD, but not from combat. When a stray butt cheek flipped a peach presser on during a romp in a barn, Kenny’s nickname became Fuzzymember.
Enough ball busting. Ranger Up is proud to sponsor Sergeant Kenny Jackson in The MMA Big Show in Indiana on Jan 9th!
Comments
4 Comments
elias D
January 10, 2010 at 5:27 am
How did the fight go?! Can’t get results on the internet from here yet. Also, please email me later on how MMA BS was, I’m supposed to fight for their show this spring.
Satinpatriot
January 11, 2010 at 3:11 pm
Gardens of Stone is available to watch instantly on Netflix..
Kenny Jackson
January 14, 2010 at 11:42 am
The fight went well. I won in the first round with a guillotine choke but was on the verge of a knockout. I dropped him midway in the round. Overall the venue was outstanding. The cage floor gets a little warm but nothing to bad. I enjoyed the fight and want to send a special thanks to Kelly and Ranger Up for sponsoring me. The walkout shirt was kick ass. I am thankful for all the support and look forward to representing Ranger Up in the future.
Elias D
January 15, 2010 at 11:48 am
Nicely done, brother!